The Year That Was...
Too late for a year-end report though, I just want to pour out everything that's running in my head at this very moment...
In my entire existence of nineteen years, I guess the previous one was my worst! Well, of course I could never tell of how times were when I was still an infant. But as far as I could remember, as I reached my age of consciousness, I never had a hard time dealing with life the way I did last year.
It was a year when things, and people, so dear to me were taken away from me. It was a year filled with heartaches and tears. It was a year I could call no better than "The Dark Age".
Just as 2004 began, I lost love. My life's an open book, this ain't classified info for anybody. It actually happened months before that, I was just too dim-witted to realize. The following months became my difficult battle of having to accept things the way they are, and deciding to trudge another path far from what I have been used to. It took me a long time (and I really mean loooooong) to gather myself up and nurse the bleeding wounds.
Midyear, I lost my scholarship. I failed to take the final exams since I was ill. With this, I lost confidence in myself as well as the drive to go for the real reason why I am here in the University.
August came, my uncle passed away. He finally gave up his struggle against cancer. It was excruciating to lose the person I considered my dad. It took me a long while to be thankful that he was finally at rest.
Just a month after that, when my family was still in bereavement for my uncle's loss, we had to face another dilemma. My mom had to undergo a major operation - total hysterectomy. I had this great fear of losing my mom, since the people I loved were leaving me one by one... What pained me the most was the fact that I, her only child, could not be with her in this strife. I wasn't there to hug her and assure her that everything's gonna be alright. I wasn't there to take care of her.
Just when hope seemed aloof, God heard my prayers this time. My mom had a successful operation.
But my troubles just don't end there.
Before the year ended, my Dad (grandpa) had stroke and was under comatose for a week. Even his physicians thought there was a faint chance of his survival and convinced the family to accept his loss, which was likely to happen at that time. Again, in this trial, I was away from the family. I was crying alone and worrying with no one beside me. But God is still gracious. After that week of totally no response from my lolo, he woke up although he was paralyzed. He underwent therapy, and is now trying to live a normal life.
Yes indeed, this year is not worth remembering.
But on second thought, if not for all these crises, I would never have grown and matured. I would not realize how life really works ~ that it is not just made up of "ups", but "downs" as well, and that I just can't have everything. If not for all these pains I've been through, I would never appreciate the strength I never thought I possessed.
More importantly, these events in my life became my avenue of proving to myself of how blessed I am to have a wonderful family. My eyes have been opened as well to appreciate the people and friends who geniunely cared for me.
Yes, it was a year jam-packed with nightmares. But these nightmares brought me realistic lessons about life, as well as the zeal to keep on dreaming, believing, and loving...
In my entire existence of nineteen years, I guess the previous one was my worst! Well, of course I could never tell of how times were when I was still an infant. But as far as I could remember, as I reached my age of consciousness, I never had a hard time dealing with life the way I did last year.
It was a year when things, and people, so dear to me were taken away from me. It was a year filled with heartaches and tears. It was a year I could call no better than "The Dark Age".
Just as 2004 began, I lost love. My life's an open book, this ain't classified info for anybody. It actually happened months before that, I was just too dim-witted to realize. The following months became my difficult battle of having to accept things the way they are, and deciding to trudge another path far from what I have been used to. It took me a long time (and I really mean loooooong) to gather myself up and nurse the bleeding wounds.
Midyear, I lost my scholarship. I failed to take the final exams since I was ill. With this, I lost confidence in myself as well as the drive to go for the real reason why I am here in the University.
August came, my uncle passed away. He finally gave up his struggle against cancer. It was excruciating to lose the person I considered my dad. It took me a long while to be thankful that he was finally at rest.
Just a month after that, when my family was still in bereavement for my uncle's loss, we had to face another dilemma. My mom had to undergo a major operation - total hysterectomy. I had this great fear of losing my mom, since the people I loved were leaving me one by one... What pained me the most was the fact that I, her only child, could not be with her in this strife. I wasn't there to hug her and assure her that everything's gonna be alright. I wasn't there to take care of her.
Just when hope seemed aloof, God heard my prayers this time. My mom had a successful operation.
But my troubles just don't end there.
Before the year ended, my Dad (grandpa) had stroke and was under comatose for a week. Even his physicians thought there was a faint chance of his survival and convinced the family to accept his loss, which was likely to happen at that time. Again, in this trial, I was away from the family. I was crying alone and worrying with no one beside me. But God is still gracious. After that week of totally no response from my lolo, he woke up although he was paralyzed. He underwent therapy, and is now trying to live a normal life.
Yes indeed, this year is not worth remembering.
But on second thought, if not for all these crises, I would never have grown and matured. I would not realize how life really works ~ that it is not just made up of "ups", but "downs" as well, and that I just can't have everything. If not for all these pains I've been through, I would never appreciate the strength I never thought I possessed.
More importantly, these events in my life became my avenue of proving to myself of how blessed I am to have a wonderful family. My eyes have been opened as well to appreciate the people and friends who geniunely cared for me.
Yes, it was a year jam-packed with nightmares. But these nightmares brought me realistic lessons about life, as well as the zeal to keep on dreaming, believing, and loving...
posted by Yacel @ 11:40 AM
2 Wanna React?:
At 11:15 AM,
Jaime said…
never let your guard down. we don't know what might happen but through it all, always be assured that i will be right at your back to protect you and catch you if you falter...
At 5:40 PM,
Yacel said…
thanks james! you are actually one of the people who kept me sane thru all these...
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