...pArAnOiD...
darn! never in my life have i dreaded hearing my fone ring and seeing any of my family member's name appearing onscreen as the caller. grabe, it's just soooo weird! usually naman super excited ako everytime they call me. but now, it's really different, and strange!
it occurred to me thrice these past few days. i always have second thoughts if i really want to pick up and hear what they want to say. i understand why. i am just so scared that i always preempt what they intend to tell me. paranoid - that's what i am right now... knowing the situation at home, and being so scared to hear anything bad that may possibly happen.
a while ago it happened again. i was with shally, ph, and eszard at the lagoon late this afternoon (hmm? y kami nandun? secret na noh! hahah!) then britney's 'toxic' was summoning my attention from deep in by backpack. i hurriedly scrambled for my phone to answer the call. seeing that my mom was on the line suddenly made my heart throb so wildly. again, i thought of not picking up. but then again, i just had to.
when i heard her voice i immediately asked her purpose of calling (which is so not me, there was no lambing factor whatsoever). and it was so evident in her voice that there really was something unusual. so, there i go, uncontrollably going over the possibilities in my head (i.e. something might have happened to my lolo). i hated her pa-bitin style, the more i grew tense, and scared. kaya yun, super iyak na agad ako.i just couldn't contain my nervousness and i repeatedly asked how dad was. it was super nakakahiya sa mga friends ko! para akong anime character na ngumangawa (yung walang tigil ang pagdaloy ng luha, with matching hagulgol... but syempre may compusure pa rin!)
so there, i just wasn't able to hold back my emotions. then suddenly, i heard on the other line the voice of my baby cousin who was supposedly at jeddah, saudi... he was asking how i was? i was so surprised! i couldn't believe hearing my aunt and cousin, nasa bahay pala sila! then it became clear to me. mom called to surprise me that they have already arrived.
super urgent naman!!! just about 2 days ago, mama told me they MIGHT come home. never did i expect their arrival was gonna be this soon! i am glad their here, honestly. but still it could never cover up my fears and worries. they would never have come home if dad wasn't in a critical condition. sigh...
then, i did my stupid mistake again... my tita brought the phone to dad's ear so i could tell him i'm here, and how much i want him to get well. then again, i just sobbed. no matter how i tried to encourage him, i just couldn't bear the pain of hearing nothing but faint groans... that wasn't the lolo i left weeks ago. and i couldn't imagine how i could fake being strong seeing him 2 weeks from now. but that is the fact - he is already severely paralyzed. but then, i would never cease to believe in miracles... i know He watches.
it occurred to me thrice these past few days. i always have second thoughts if i really want to pick up and hear what they want to say. i understand why. i am just so scared that i always preempt what they intend to tell me. paranoid - that's what i am right now... knowing the situation at home, and being so scared to hear anything bad that may possibly happen.
a while ago it happened again. i was with shally, ph, and eszard at the lagoon late this afternoon (hmm? y kami nandun? secret na noh! hahah!) then britney's 'toxic' was summoning my attention from deep in by backpack. i hurriedly scrambled for my phone to answer the call. seeing that my mom was on the line suddenly made my heart throb so wildly. again, i thought of not picking up. but then again, i just had to.
when i heard her voice i immediately asked her purpose of calling (which is so not me, there was no lambing factor whatsoever). and it was so evident in her voice that there really was something unusual. so, there i go, uncontrollably going over the possibilities in my head (i.e. something might have happened to my lolo). i hated her pa-bitin style, the more i grew tense, and scared. kaya yun, super iyak na agad ako.i just couldn't contain my nervousness and i repeatedly asked how dad was. it was super nakakahiya sa mga friends ko! para akong anime character na ngumangawa (yung walang tigil ang pagdaloy ng luha, with matching hagulgol... but syempre may compusure pa rin!)
so there, i just wasn't able to hold back my emotions. then suddenly, i heard on the other line the voice of my baby cousin who was supposedly at jeddah, saudi... he was asking how i was? i was so surprised! i couldn't believe hearing my aunt and cousin, nasa bahay pala sila! then it became clear to me. mom called to surprise me that they have already arrived.
super urgent naman!!! just about 2 days ago, mama told me they MIGHT come home. never did i expect their arrival was gonna be this soon! i am glad their here, honestly. but still it could never cover up my fears and worries. they would never have come home if dad wasn't in a critical condition. sigh...
then, i did my stupid mistake again... my tita brought the phone to dad's ear so i could tell him i'm here, and how much i want him to get well. then again, i just sobbed. no matter how i tried to encourage him, i just couldn't bear the pain of hearing nothing but faint groans... that wasn't the lolo i left weeks ago. and i couldn't imagine how i could fake being strong seeing him 2 weeks from now. but that is the fact - he is already severely paralyzed. but then, i would never cease to believe in miracles... i know He watches.
posted by Yacel @ 11:21 PM
0 Wanna React?:
Post a Comment
<< Home