Happy Anniversary

As I half-opened my eyes and flipped the pages of my Daily Bread, I was astonished with the date written on the heading for the day's Scripture. January 31. Now, that was what I needed to finally jolt my slumbering senses. Ironic though, for months I have been trying to obliterate the memories of that rueful day. Yet having seen that, first thing in the morning, brought me discomfiting emotions i could hardly make out.

After reading the passage for the day, I prayed... earnestly... I asked Him to help me get through the day as normally as I could. I beseeched Him to depose away from my mind's periphery thoughts and feelings commensurated with last year's event...

I went to my classes... Made tambay at KEM... Talked with friends... Took exam in onse...

As I was about to go home, I was glad He heard my plea. My day went just fine.

Before I went back to the dorm, my friends and I decided to drop by the Sunken Garden for a little chit chat. My Anniversary of Singleness was worth celebrating.

I had fun with three of my best buddies - pH, Gaery, & Ewik (just sad Lou couldn't be around). We sat on the grass, under the glistening array of stars, right in the middle of Sunken. Talked about a lot of things - sensible and flimsy alike. Shared laughters, tears, angst, dreams. It just felt so cathartic.

I went home happy.

As i lay in bed at around 2 am, I just found it so hard to put myself to sleep. Unconsciously, tears just mustered in my eyes and voluntarily flowed down my cheeks. I don't really know what they were for, the feeling was just so weird. There was a little twinge at an unidentifiable part in my heart. It went on till daybreak, I just felt too tired I barely knew when it ended.

As i woke up the following day, as if nothing happened. Great. Now, that's "normal".

Tong Kantang To

Scene: Yacel uncomfortably seated in IKOT jeep...

... Kitchie Nadal (did I spell it right?) filled the air waves with her walang kamatayang awit na ito...

wohowooowow, 'wag na 'wag mong sasabihin
na di mo nadama itong
pag-ibig kong handang
ibigay kahit pa ang kalayaan mo

Yacel (to herself): Not again! It's just mid-day and this is the fifth time I've heard this song! Na-memorize ko na tuloy...

Lady (to her companion): Ayan na! Pinatugtog na naman ang Pambansang Awit ng Pilipinas!

Yacel (to herself again): Hehehe, iba talaga mag-isip ang taga-Peyups!

The Year That Was...

Too late for a year-end report though, I just want to pour out everything that's running in my head at this very moment...

In my entire existence of nineteen years, I guess the previous one was my worst! Well, of course I could never tell of how times were when I was still an infant. But as far as I could remember, as I reached my age of consciousness, I never had a hard time dealing with life the way I did last year.

It was a year when things, and people, so dear to me were taken away from me. It was a year filled with heartaches and tears. It was a year I could call no better than "The Dark Age".

Just as 2004 began, I lost love. My life's an open book, this ain't classified info for anybody. It actually happened months before that, I was just too dim-witted to realize. The following months became my difficult battle of having to accept things the way they are, and deciding to trudge another path far from what I have been used to. It took me a long time (and I really mean loooooong) to gather myself up and nurse the bleeding wounds.

Midyear, I lost my scholarship. I failed to take the final exams since I was ill. With this, I lost confidence in myself as well as the drive to go for the real reason why I am here in the University.

August came, my uncle passed away. He finally gave up his struggle against cancer. It was excruciating to lose the person I considered my dad. It took me a long while to be thankful that he was finally at rest.

Just a month after that, when my family was still in bereavement for my uncle's loss, we had to face another dilemma. My mom had to undergo a major operation - total hysterectomy. I had this great fear of losing my mom, since the people I loved were leaving me one by one... What pained me the most was the fact that I, her only child, could not be with her in this strife. I wasn't there to hug her and assure her that everything's gonna be alright. I wasn't there to take care of her.

Just when hope seemed aloof, God heard my prayers this time. My mom had a successful operation.

But my troubles just don't end there.

Before the year ended, my Dad (grandpa) had stroke and was under comatose for a week. Even his physicians thought there was a faint chance of his survival and convinced the family to accept his loss, which was likely to happen at that time. Again, in this trial, I was away from the family. I was crying alone and worrying with no one beside me. But God is still gracious. After that week of totally no response from my lolo, he woke up although he was paralyzed. He underwent therapy, and is now trying to live a normal life.

Yes indeed, this year is not worth remembering.

But on second thought, if not for all these crises, I would never have grown and matured. I would not realize how life really works ~ that it is not just made up of "ups", but "downs" as well, and that I just can't have everything. If not for all these pains I've been through, I would never appreciate the strength I never thought I possessed.

More importantly, these events in my life became my avenue of proving to myself of how blessed I am to have a wonderful family. My eyes have been opened as well to appreciate the people and friends who geniunely cared for me.

Yes, it was a year jam-packed with nightmares. But these nightmares brought me realistic lessons about life, as well as the zeal to keep on dreaming, believing, and loving...

The Awakening

Good morning!!! *yawn*

It's unbelievable how it took me this long to finally awaken from slumber... Can you imagine that? I've been away from the Blogging Biz for exactly a month now!

Within that month, so many things happened in my life ~ so many things I could talk about. I don't even know where to start.

I didn't even get to post updates on my euphoric eng'g week experience, my merry christmas and happy new year celebrations. I have been so immersed with the life I missed so bad that I never had the will to write again...

Now, it seems like everything's back to normal... Being normal includes blogging again... It's good to be back! =)